When I hear this episode now, what hits me honestly is how cunningly structured thing is where where you hear about the mom from all these other people before you ever hear from her and then how your picture of her changes once you actually hear her. Our program was produced today by Jane Marie and myself, our staff for today's show includes Alex Blumberg, Sarah Koenig, Seth Lind, Lisa Pollak, Robin Semion. Part of me really doesn't want to know, because I think I would feel left out of something. And I'm not one to borrow trouble. "I want you to know that I will accept whatever contact you choose to have with me, even if it's none at all. When I hear this episode now, what hits me honestly is how cunningly structured thing is where where you hear about the mom from all these other people before you ever hear from her and then how your picture of her changes once you actually hear her. Mr. Miller died in 2000. All Votes Add Books To This List. In fact, we were even weren't even sure we'd have another child, so of course, we were elated when I did get pregnant and and then to think that I didn't get to raise the one that I had wanted to so much and. Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print. It's all your fault. And Marti refused to believe it at that point. She circled his name and she wrote, This is your uncle. With Katie Leclerc, Vanessa Marano, Constance Marie, D.W. Moffett. I promise you, I'll never try to make you think of me as your daughter. And he did. ", So she's basically saying to you, you may have actually gotten a break here being in the family that--. (Paperback) by Janice Kay Johnson (Goodreads Author) mary steenburgen photographic memory. Besides her, there was Mary Lydia, Faith, Ruth, Sonny, Luke, and Esther. Yes, I told her, I think we have the wrong baby. I changed your diaper and my mother, nothing was going to be different between us. Darlene Wolfgram did tell her daughter, though. On the positive side, Switched at Birth does like to include American Sign Language. So then she found out she has all of these brothers and sisters. And when you get this kind of news as an adult, that your mom isn't really your mom or your daughter isn't really your daughter, and at the same time, you have a new mom or a new daughter, it is not so clear what you're supposed to do with this new parent or new child who's now in your life. Dear Martha and Sue, have you ever suspected or been told that we took home the baby that belonged to Kay and Bob McDonald and they later took home the baby that belonged to us? So then you had to go through the register to get to the bathroom. Having two sets of parents and two full sets of siblings and cousins is kind of a practical headache. I didn't get picked. Was there ever a time when you thought back and thought, I should have stood my ground more with him on that? You're still our kid and I'm glad we had you. I would say that Sue and I were probably not that close for whatever reason. The Millers are the bespectacled, dark-haired ones from the letter. Mark Twain. Well, when your husband said to you, this baby's cute, let's keep it. But there's no question things have gotten better between the two girls and their moms. So now we are both aware of what happened 43 years ago. He didn't dance with me. In fact, it was the exact opposite. She was close to her mother. Occasionally, she'd break down and cry. Rudy had a couple of beers. Shut up. You know, it's like I'm a teenager again and nobody danced with me. I didn't even dance with you. At first, they refused to believe her, but then she told them about the blood tests, finally Sue handed over all the letters that she had and sent them in the past month, letters telling them how much she loved them and how much she wanted to stay their daughter. And then they go right to do that. Another 2.5 million people download the weekly podcast. And the Millers show her pictures of her other relatives. So I dropped the mixed-up baby pursuit. And the purpose of this letter is that Mrs. Miller is breaking the news 43 years after the fact to Martha Insu that she took the wrong baby home from the hospital that Martha and was switched at birth, that she's not Martha's biological mom, she sues. He had a band. And why ruin all that? But I feel I must get this out in the open, so you two know how wonderful that you both are Christians and great workers in the church. more. And I said, well, I don't know. At one point toward the end of the party, as Sue stood nearby, Marti started talking about the room that she had grown up in in the Miller household. And I don't think Sue had that sense, in fact, that's true. And now she wanted everyone's role to be clear. While Bay and Daphne were supposed to be 15 at the time, Vanessa and Katie were 18 and 24, respectively. It was a little surreal to hear her talk about it in this way, laughing like that, especially after hearing McDonald's side of things. I had complete anesthesia, so was asleep when our baby was born. (6 1/2 minutes), If you enjoyed this episode, you may like these. Almost 25 years to the day after the student protest at Gallaudet University began in 1988, ABC Family's 'Switched at Birth' features a storyline about a deaf student uprising in an episode . There is no gray area. It's this American Life. Over the years, Mrs. Miller would do or say things concerning the girls, things that just seemed strange to Kay. At last, Mrs. Miller felt free to act. But I had talked to several of our former pastors who knew about the situation and they assured me that this was not God's will. For starters, Mrs. Miller didn't contact Marti and Sue at the same time. And I thought, well, he'll think I'm nuts. Did you agree with him immediately or was there a little bit of arguing back and forth over what to do? And he didn't tell me ahead of time. He explained things like why all those years ago, he refused to return to the hospital and switch back the babies. And I said, I don't know. The infants were accidentally switched, and went home with the wrong families. I tried out for cheerleading. This is not my my family. April 28, 1991. She knew it the day she got home from the hospital in 1951, that she had the wrong baby, a baby born to a woman named Kay McDonald. If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page. And this was a bad decision. There were a few years there. One mother, Mary Miller, knew and kept it a secret. Martha excelled in music, was a great cheerleader at school, very popular, and a blonde. I had six little children to take care of. I was sure then that there had been a mix up. Again, Martha Miller, who now goes by Marti, who once was the baby who sneezed five times in a row. Martha excelled in music, was a great cheerleader at school, very popular and a blonde, our other children had dark hair. So I did think, yeah, she's going to know that's not my daughter. And she told somebody that I was crazy. The nurse weighed the baby and must have left her in the delivery room until after Kay's baby was born. That's a big consideration. All the girls were in the same room. She told me that she even started calling around trying to find someone who'd be a mother to her six children. So at this point, you're probably wondering, why in the world didn't Mrs. Miller straighten this out quicker? I mean, are there times when you when you feel a little bit guilty about kind of having lucked out with the home that was, you know, maybe a little bit easier to grow up in? It got so bad, Kay had to go on medication for high blood pressure. Yes, and quoting scriptures all the time for me to read to console me. Just absolutely bizarre things like that. You know, when she finally heard from Mrs. Miller, the mother she'd grown up with, not only did she get the letter, but Mrs. Miller had just been to the fiftieth anniversary party of the McDonald's, Marty's biological parents. The counselor asked her what the McDonalds knew about all this. You were not adopted. I love you both. Likely one of the most complicated and crazy switched at birth cases is that of Kimberly Mays and Arlena Twigg who, in 1978, went home from the hospital with the wrong parents. The next week, though, when Marti was visiting their mom, Mrs. Miller, she asked her about what Rudy had said. We love you, Martha Jane. I remember at the wedding when my nephew got married, my brother danced with everybody. We had a baby scale at home. And the feeling in their house was very different from the feeling in the Miller's house. And is the reason because Marty brought something important to your family, you cheated. I felt they were trying to take her away from us. Yeah, what was your room like? Because Mrs. Miller didn't want cross her husband, all she could do was hope that maybe if she dropped enough hints, calling the girls sisters and such, Kay would eventually realize on her own what had happened. Very soon after mine, when we took our baby home, she sneezed five times in a row. It was the four women at the center of all this. He didn't dance with me. That could be my sister. Jake Halpern is the reporter. They were easygoing, quick to laugh and joke around. I wanted him to agree with me. We love you, Martha Jane, as dearly as our other six children. Marti wrote a letter to Kay and Bob McDonald, her biological parents. And I was and I was like a serious person. And in the meantime, I had gotten phone calls from people I didn't even know that were telling me, you know, hey, I'm your brother. I did feel in the beginning like she was taking my place in my family. All the Millers were invited and all the McDonalds were to Marty considered whether she should go. She got along famously with their son, Bob. Did you have? Act Seven: Saturday and Sunday, Gainesville and Coral Springs FL, Act Two: More Animals Eating Other Animals. A couple of them, including Ruth, had vague memories of their parents talking about it after they brought Marti home from the hospital, about how this baby looked different from Mrs. Miller's other babies, and that maybe this baby had been switched. From the McDonald's perspective, Marty looked and acted remarkably like a McDonald's. He thought she really dreamed this up in her head and. Oscar-winning actress Marlee Matlin is back in the spotlight on ABC Family's "Switched at Birth," which will have its winter premiere on Tuesday. And I thought I was losing both of them. Transcript; Share; This American Life. That's what most people in town seem to feel, it wasn't their place to bring up such a thing, especially with no way to know if it was true for sure. Sue is ours. Our senior producer for this episode is Julie Snyder. Reverend Miller had once been pastor there. It's a little late. When Marty showed up at the house for brunch the day after the wedding, she couldn't have seemed more at home with the family that she didn't meet until her 40s. One of them was Darlene Wolfgram. She always referred to the girls as sisters. This is a videotape of that first meeting. Are there times when you feel a little bit guilty about kind of having lucked out with the home that was maybe a little bit easier to grow up in? That's Martha reading. He told her that he thought it was God's will that this had happened. It's available wherever you get your podcasts and. Sue now had four new sisters and two new brothers, and the Millers show her pictures of her other relatives. They said that was a cop-out. I mean, that's my biological family. It is hosted by Ira Glass, produced in collaboration with Chicago Public Media, delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange, and has won all of the major broadcasting awards. Get personalized recommendations, and learn where to watch across hundreds of streaming providers. I just couldn't believe it. And keep his friendship, you know, if I turn against him, like, gotten on that. But Sue was the girl they had brought up and they felt loyal to her protective. And so I don't think that was too well received when I mentioned that. Here is how Mrs. Miller explained that in the letter. Yeah, I wanted him to agree with me. When Marti showed up at the house for brunch the day after the wedding, she couldn't have seemed more at home with the family that she didn't meet until her 40s. Bay grew up in a wealthy family with two parents and a brother. Why the big concern about disgracing the doctor over, you know, having the wrong baby? I was surprised that nobody really ever told us the booms, the teen or the Lancs, the Hasan's. This was a house with a lot of rules. Back in 1994, this is back in the days when people still delivered big news to each other by mail to women who barely knew each other, Martha Miller and Susan McDonald got a letter from Martha's mom. Stereo. It's from a mosquito bite. This American Life. Well, my sisters had this crazy thing going on when they were when Faith was a teenager, she would push the dresser and the cedar chest against the door. You're their kid, you're in their family. And I really haven't, because there's no point. I mean, that's my biological family. Wow, wow. In the episode, the students at Carlton School for the Deaf protest to keep their school open. And we had the same personality. She'd also moved out of Wisconsin, in her case to Southern California. I just couldn't do it. As for Marti, she doesn't like to dwell on the notion that Sue might have been the one who lucked out. I didn't have anything to do with it. She looks just like Mary. That's Ruth she and Faith and Mary Lydia. They were married for 60 years. She was losing blood and having spasms. Before the letter arrived, the facts of Sue's life, it seemed pretty orderly. I can still wonder why and probably never will know why it didn't come up any sooner. Your mother said this. That's just how she is. Now this you tell who that is. And you can see, they're just having so much fun and laughing together and just dancing away. And this whole crop of people knew, but never said anything to Kay McDonald. I remember my friend said to me, you must be adopted because you do not look at all like your parents. Kay McDonald began getting notes and phone calls from Reverend Miller. And it is a much smaller family, just two kids. It was pretty concealed right within our own church. How are you going to think? S5 E5: Occupy Truth. She got along famously with their son Bob. And Mrs. Miller said to me, did you ever think that our girls were switched at birth? But even if it did happen, there is no way to prove it. Yes, I did. She heard it first from her own mom, who heard it at church. Yeah. She first sent the letter to Sue McDonald, the daughter she barely knew, and then waited almost two weeks before mailing the letter to Marti, the daughter she'd raised. Kay is no longer angry the way she was, but she says she'll never understand why Mrs Miller stayed silent for all those years. My brother and Marti are just thick as thieves, you know, it seems like. And that no one around. I tried out for cheerleading, I just couldn't do it, you know, I didn't get picked. For one thing, she explained just how sick she was after they'd gone home with Marti in 1951. The other problem for Marty was how to approach the McDonald's for biological parents. It was really good for us to have her around. I just I just thought it was odd that so many people would know in a town of our size, which is like 50, 500 people, when that many people were aware of it, that the news didn't get to us. Hardy says her mom, Mrs. Miller, sees the world in black and white, she focused on the facts of the situation, maybe hoping she could fix things by simply setting the record straight. She focused on the facts of the situation, maybe hoping she could fix things by simply setting the record straight. One of the mothers realized the mistake but chose to keep quiet until the day, more than 40 years later, when she decided to tell both daughters what happened. She also had an older brother, Bob, named after their dad. It's before kindergarten, so it's OK. Yeah. "This American Life." During this time, it was Marti's dad, Reverend Miller, who reassured her. Well, I know I wasn't afraid. That's what I'm talking about. I told Mrs. Miller I felt that it was God's will, when she realized that she might not have the right child, I think it was His will that she do something about it. From the McDonalds' perspective, Marti looked and acted remarkably like a McDonald. But Sue says there are a lot of things she missed out on, too, by not growing up with the Millers. I don't know why they didn't notice that. All the girls were in the same room. And Mary Miller explains why she was tormented by her secret but unable for decades to share it. He is an evangelical preacher, you know, he wants people to know Jesus Christ and that they would be saved. But your father, he's not a doctor. And I I was kind of stunned. All four women say things got very lonely for them. She told in her letter how she knew as soon as she got home and weighed the baby that the nurses had made a mistake. Robert Mays' first wife Barbara died not long after when little Kimberly was just two years old. She called and visited her parents regularly. Yeah. She was working for a group of pediatricians, which included a genetic counselor. Download Share a clip Transcript Owen Freeman Prologue Oh, yeah. But in the end, she made the trip because she's a Miller and so is Sue and she's a McDonald and so is Sue. Johnny Dodd Published on April 13, 2022 01:15 PM One afternoon in the summer of 2019, Tina Ennis realized her life would never be the same again as she sat in a diner near her home in Hobart,. Probably the ladies aid, maybe, you know, the little group that got together. Try keep it short so that it is easy for people to scan your page. And the daughter, bear with me, ended up marrying Sue's brother Bob. this american life switched at birth transcriptwilliamson county sports complex. So I did think, yeah, you know, she's she's going to know that's not my daughter and she's going to and she's going to get this popular, Marty, who's so fun loving and and looks like her. When she got on the phone, I was just totally blown away, by the way, she pronounced her words were identical with the way my mother talked. I was just like, wow. Having the two of them so near each other was a little awkward. I was shy or I was whatever. And I said, I don't know. The Story Behind 'Switched at Birth's' Emotional Racism Episode. You know, I think I went into a kind of a depression about similar to what I did when my mother died. She's with us. She brought happiness. So that was that. Unbelievable Intentional Swap. One thing Mrs. Miller doesn't regret is raising Marty. One of them was Darlene Wolfgram. Since we first broadcast this story in 2008, the mom who knew about the baby switch at the time, Mary Kay Miller, has died. But it just brought up feelings that feel crummy again. And I you know, I wanted he had a band, I mean. Yes. Nothing seemed amiss to her. Switched at Birth is about two teen girls and their families . This is the daughter that actually was in you. For the longest time, whenever she would write to me, she would include McDonald in my name. She worried her mother might reject her. Switched at Birth is an American teen/family drama television series that premiered on ABC Family on June 6, 2011, at 9:00 ET/PT. My sister Faith called and she was talking about the way her mother would talk to her, and I'm thinking how would I have survived with that kind of upbringing? And I said, heavens no. So he did know it too. She grew up as the sixth child in a family of seven kids. Sometimes my mom thinks I'm a little fanatical. Reverend Miller had made many visits to Dr. Deslack's wife when she was sick and now Dr. Deslack refused to charge the Millers for anything. And he said, this is a nice little baby. The final episode of the Peabody-winning family drama ended things by looking back at how the series. That was her idea. I was surprised that nobody really ever told us, the Booms, the Tinors, the Langs, the Haisens. Mrs. Miller told people in the Evangelical Church that her suspicions, friends of hers and people she hoped would keep an eye out on Sue. And he was very angry at first with me. She circled the names of people that were participating in the program like my one of my uncles on the birth side, Earl Gonzales. That's all we can do.