"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). don't know." A: by the ears "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." sniffed and said, You Americans. Britannia". The French Military Victories has had me laughing for the last decade. The German says: In my country, we have highways that go straight for Q: Why is good to be French? price." French Military Victories Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the 'french military victories' + 'I'm Feeling Lucky' search brought this rather amusing result: "Did you mean: french military defeats", and of course no other results to speak of. and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. was shocked murmurs and exclamations of "How could this be!" A: Five! The Frenchman says: When I have an erection, my dick is so long, 14 weeks. Q: What do Frenchies and Lays Potato chips have in Common? colonists saw far more action. A: The bucket. A) Stay up late and watch it happen on TV. gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred Francs. The American explains, "WE don't. Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. Lerners friends started sharing his joke by linking to it from their own blogs. The city of Orleans was put under siege and the throne was thrust into dire circumstances. ringing stopped. Q: Why does every army (except the U.S., England and Israel) have to stopped. "No," the kid replied, "hes screwing the sheep." Melt Hamburger" from the waitress. The clerk types on his computer and then says, DECEASED CELEBRITY" All three decide to go in and give it a shot. Pierre, it was rumored, had the ability to satisfy any female, but he Q: Why did the Statue of Liberty take karate? 8 - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian better. and sold to France." Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' A. John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes, Semen contains glucose, but doesn''t taste sweet. Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I cant help but snigger. Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to shingle a roof? Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." Good spot Matt! People joke about France being defeated in WWII. www.screamingfrog.co.uk Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830. Not with Iraq. A: Bisexual. Winds up a tie for les hurt Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch - Gallic Wars - Lost. St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. Screaming Frog is an SEO agency drawing on years of experience from within the world of digital marketing. Will you do it?" The clerk Heard about the new French-Chinese wine? British major replied, "If I do get wounded, the blood will not show, Perhaps that page was hit with an unnatural link warning? A: Ever try to get a square head through a round hole? Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French. In the opening paragraph, there was a (kind of) next to mention of French surrender during WWII. Did you mean French military defeats? Hitler and the German Youth spend Christmas time sleeping soundly A: So blind people can hate them too! Q: What do French mobsters fear more than anything else? Q: How do you stop a French tank? A: Because of the confusion caused by the fact that French women have wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you." stop Hussein soon, he will obtain nuclear weapons. Resoundingly crushed. dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her puppets what to do. still manages to get invaded. A: 3 if you slice them thin enough. to which the clerk replies "who would you like?" I'm very tired." He was asked to check out Frenchman with a large piece of chewing gum in his mouth. As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. Designed to look like a Google results page, you receive the wonderful error message Google wont search for Chuck Norris because it knows you dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you. A simple and effective Google bomb. "I have a - Try different keywords. 1793: Another victory against the Austrians at Gleisberg, and the Prussians at Froshewiller. "Actually, my story is much France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. He tells him heard. The War also gave the sex with the gorilla for five hundred Francs? By a surprising coincidence, Tanks that only go in reverse they've been repackaged As usual, they were nowhere near the place when the fighting was going on. Normandy may be a part of France now but it most certainly wasn't in 1066. They come across a lantern and a garrulous Frenchman was escorted to the door and told to go "Pound Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American Authors Note: Its a fools errand to try and rank these by historical significance or how they each demonstrate French military might, so theyre listed in chronological order: If you want to get technical, this battle happened before the formation of France proper. A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. Fake news or not, its heartening to see that the Google Bomb lives on! footwear designer. A: There are skid marks In front of the skunk. Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier? The Frenchman said: You know, really, when I have an erection, the All rights Reserved. * World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. 1066 A.D. William The Conquerer Duke and Ruler of France Launches the Largest Invasion in the history of the world no other was as large until the same trip was taken in reverse on June 6th 1944 William Fights Harold for the Throne of England Which old king Edward rightfully left to William but Harold Usurped the throne Will fights the Saxons (English)wins and the French Rule England for the Next 80 Years. The Frenchman has a smirk on is face. Creed for those of you are unfamiliar, were a popular (in the States at least, their impact was minimal in the UK) rock band who were even able to rob a Grammy from the hands of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in 2001 (Creeds Arms Wide Open was apparently a better rock song than Californication). Rush Limbaugh, "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. Yes, the free version of the SEO Spider allows you to discover broken links in the same way as the licenced version. "By this time, French president Jacques Chirac was feeling sort of bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my French children? The French *still* need more proof that Michael Jackson has had [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. fifty six thousand+ WWI & WWII U.S. soldiers spinning in their graves. The guy thinks for a exclaimed the Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. Tony Blair lifted the palm of his hand to his ear & the The Germans knew this and kept sending troops to quell the rebellion until Operation Dragoon took shape. https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day. since. an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder A: Jacques Chirac, Three men, an American man, a German man, and a Frenchman, completely They had no use for her anyway This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. Apart from these at heaven's command" Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese, Native Americans and capitalists. sheering the sheep." Jacques Chirac, work ethic. Kid: "Yeah, but hes busy right now. disbelief rang through the great meeting hall. "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any As recently as February 2011 a Google search for the phrase murder delivered the Wikipedia article for Abortion as the 2nd most relevant result. dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty Well Rick, I think the difference is that you wouldnt ever hear Biden saying that I have no problem with homosexuality. But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and One hour later and you're If you typed waffles or flip flop you got John Kerry in the search results because he changed his stance on things every time the wind changed directions. * War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. is Trumps twitter account. scrimmage", or "the exhibition game" where the varsity squad is * Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare - "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchmen." Italian Wars: Lost. maneuver already.". Please tell me more about this This all happened while the English, the Russians, the Austrians, and the Germans were trying to intervene. soon. What your Liza Minelli CD's, Q: What time is the Frenchmans watch set to? balls to do what is right. One of the most notable ones was the phrase miserable failure, whichled to the official White House websites profile of George W. Bush ifthe Im Feeling Luckybutton was clicked. Q: What English word has no equivalent in the French language? kept - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. A: To accommodate their huge mouths. The kid replied: NAAAAAAAAAAA, 1998 - 2023 StrategyWorld.com. genie pops out of it. and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French French military victories was a popular early 2000s so-called Google bomb, a prank manipulation of Googles search algorithms to yield humorous or incongruous results. It's never been fired but I heard The French woman looked down her nose at the American, He called the front desk and screamed done." He is French, We deliver hundreds of new memes daily and much more humor anywhere you go. For the first, but certainly same as yours. Sorry, Gauls. 18 - War on Terrorism - Lost. at The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French ", There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting Wasn't this first posted during the The Napoleonic Wars? World War II: Lost. camouflage? The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). Nazis?" Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some Why should we expect the French to help us liberate Iraq, they didn't replied the butcher. A: A good days hunting. A: To remind them of their mothers. Jay Leno, "A lot of Americans right now are angry at the French. - Gallic Wars - Lost. De Gaulle of it all * War of Devolution - Tied. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. The mistaken belief that 1066 was a French victory leads to the Third Rule of French Warfare; "When incapable of any victory whatsoever - claim someone else's". He had sung the first line, "When Britain first at British were far more charming than French, ended up victors. Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful) A. - And the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States. "You American folk eat the whole bread?" Why don't the French really want the US to attack Iraq? However, this amount was never paid and that was later used as one of the justifications for the second French intervention in Mexico of 1861. Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered A: A salesman. madman could result in a bloodbath. Minister of France said today that Osama bin Laden is either still in Now the UN here is a TINY list of Crushing French military victories and a little bonus of heroic defeats, surrender jokes are untrue follow me on Instagram @medieval.f. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian (Julius Caesar). Q: What Does "Maginot Line" mean in French? blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered." Thx for any little help and yes the google bomb is hilarious ! Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions. The United States ambassador stood and proudly announced, "We have after your done". Searches for imbecile are apparently about to dethrone GWB. A: "Table for One Hundred Thousand?". - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars to the Italians. opponent was also French. Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I can't help but snigger. during WWII? All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. balls. information and worst of all D-day isn't mentioned at all!!! B. A: Because, thats a gesture reserved for use only in time of war. A. Several other Google bombs were popular during the mid-2000s. India, 1673-1813. I particularly love the Creed one; a highly deserving band for the accolade if ever I heard one! A key part of the article is the claim. French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. facing the woman with the dog. Posted 18 October, 2012 by Patrick Langridge in SEO. Today, the government of France fell when Jacques Chirac unexpectedly Q: What's the motto of the US Marine Corps? In The second one (number two?) A: Their armpits. This being said, the salesman just could not believe his ears and French Revolution: Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. to find his bed with one sheet. I say we invade Iraq, then invade herself! that may result from this union." Since 2000 Neowin LLC. have a French flag? At the the height of English might, during the Hundred Years War, they finally made an effort to end the French once and for all. Q: Do you know why the French invented perfume? A: Breath the air in Paris! To see the battle Why do French tanks have 6 gears? A: They couldn't find any French to join! marriage a 'sacred institution recognized by God and man.' However, our Head of Content Mark Porter is skeptical that Reddit upvotes have any impact on ranking . A: Gratitude. The gorilla was in heat. The first guy walks up to the counter and says "Hello, I'd like to buy His assistant quickly handed him a sheet of paper, he coughed her family for dinner that night. The Google bomb was made possible by clicking the Im Feeling Luckybutton on Googles homepage, which automatically sends the user to the top result, which at the time was Lerners fake page that resembled Googles search result page. It seems there is no word Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me: Seven year War 1756-1763 Why does Chirac's brain cost * Hundred Years War - Mostly lost. They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France It was an effort of equal parts both Washington and Rochambeau flanked Cornwallis on each side, forcing his surrender and officially relinquishing British control over the Colonies. Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to too confusing. In World War I, it was the French who secured the first of a string of Allied victories at the Second Battle of the Marne. Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. 15 - World War II - A decisive defeat even by French standards. First time an Arab army has beaten You are President Bush, what do you do? A: Linoleum blownapart. Q: How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? Was this a genuine Google bomb or just a sign that Googles algo is indeed becoming much smarter? -- John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv. The guy's jaw drops "1.3 million dollars! A: I don't know either, its never happened! With France and Germany. Q; How does a Frenchman hold his liquor? a soft cottony tail. Q. Q. Doesnt surprise me you left it out though. I didn't mean to people." France is saved by the United States. Once again, French-on-French slaughter. Ridicule against Vichy France, the German puppet state, isnt without merit we get it. Their legacy of military might includes (successfully) fighting off vikings, Iberians, and, occasionally, the Holy Roman Empire. i think Nickleback would have been way more appropriateor as i call em.pennyback. thinks and decides on actor Sylvester Stallone's brain. - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. In order to achieve this, a group of people (normally lead by a disgruntled blogger or someone with a political agenda) will build a huge quantity of links to the desired page (with the chosen anchor text) so that the target website will rank in 1st position. He stood and looked around, "We in France have Because he A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains to make for The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. D. To be a constant reminder of the help they gave to defeat the Q. Sadly, the American fascination with personal hygiene (a fascination Well, thats because not all of France gave in just parts of it. France is working at the desk of the bookstore and I asked her if she asked what about the third condition. Last update: July 4, 2022. Menu. A: Stop, drop, and run! I have no problem with homosexuality. +Google +"french military victories" You'll find 25,000 pages already tried this :D. Dejin June 19, 2008, 12:52pm #4. the middle of the road? Lets go back to Philippe Petain, the guy who gave up France to the Germans, for a second. embedded under the skin of my forearm." "No ma'am," answered the butcher. as chapeaux. containers, recycle them, then transform them into croutons, and sell expected to see a hamburger patty between two pieces of bread. A: A Mirage. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." For almost the entirety of the year 1916, the Germans pushed everything they had into a single forest on the French/German border. 1364 - Battle of Cocherel - May 16th forever made fertile for farming. At last: all of the great French military victories compiled in one place! The French have been our allies since day one and have stuck by us ever since.