What if I can't get my neighbor to crack? Step #1: Cast the circle (follow instructions in chapter 1) Step #2: Begin with 3-5 minutes of meditation, imagining and focusing on the individual you want to move from your area. Of course not; that would qualify as a hate crime. He will think. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. You of course will need to be free of anything grow related. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. Then one night whens its night and tall, put the plant in their backyard and call the cops. Then you're not trying hard enough. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2095545/Homeowner-facing-5-000-fine-neighbours-complain-wind-chimes-keeping-awake.html, https://www.epa.vic.gov.au/your-environment/noise/residential-noise, https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/local-news/couple-bombarded-junk-mail-after-14287419, http://www.southeastern.edu/admin/police/staying_safe_on_campus/harassing_phone_calls.html, http://www.problemneighbours.co.uk/parking-disputes.html, You can even be extra annoying by putting a big grin on your face and cheerily saying, “The early bird gets the worm!”. Can I throw bacon at him? :D False. Once you are in his bathroom, send his bathroom mirror into the abyss and replace it with a wallet-sized photograph of the crow. How to Protect Yourself Against Neighbors from Hell If you find yourself in a position where a neighbor is actively trying to prevent the sale of … Then, while your neighbor is at the store, sneak into his house and hang the crow’s cage from the ceiling such that it is dangling in front of your neighbor’s TV. Only 7% of our daily communication is verbal. 55% of our communication comes from body language. Your neighbor will have no choice but to flee his house and move to a different town before the shoe gets all the way to his front door, because he will think that when the tennis shoe makes it inside his house, something horrible will happen. To create this article, 25 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. What did you say? Put the crow in a birdcage and hang it front of your neighbor’s TV. When you leave the trail, make sure you know your neighbor will be out all day, so the insects will have a chance to really do some damage before he or she returns. The best part is, you can drive your neighbor insane without breaking the law — and in some cases, without even leaving the comforts of your own home. I'm an adopted child of yours, so please intervene! How to Make Your Neighbors Move Start putting out lots of food in your backyard to attract wild animals. Make Your Move . You can even take his or her and leave yours out and then kindly offer to let them borrow your paper since their's appears to be missing. Order pizza and other food to their house and pick it up at their doorstep claiming that you don't have a phone. Over the next several months your neighbor will have the horrifying experience of seeing the tennis shoe move an inch closer to his house every day. That’s weird.”. Well then you're in luck! My Mom Gave Me $5 To Go Buy Snacks And Instead I Bought These Pictures Of Wyclef Jean. Well, you'll have to stop what you're doing, I suppose, and accept the consequences for your actions. When your neighbor wakes, he will say, “Time to go to the bathroom and look at my head.” When he looks in the bathroom mirror, he’ll see that there is a dunce cap upon him, and he’ll say, “Fuck and yikes. Duct tape their door shut. ClickHole uses invented names in all of its stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. And just like that, your neighbor will move away. First, put your crow in a birdcage. It is far easier and less expensive to ask your neighbor to move a flag or the projected path of a fence than it is to move the fence once it is constructed. Just make sure the pizza place can’t trace your number or call you back when they see that there’s been some confusion. They are 4, 2 couples, have a 3 year old, an uncoming baby and a new person living there who happens to be a bit retarded. It depends on where you live as it might be illegal in your location. Pay attention to body language cues. I’m a crow. If your neighbor has moved your clothes and knows it was you who caused the problem, try to act incredibly upset that she or he would invade your privacy like that and start throwing a scene. I guess I’m still getting the hang of this whole leaf-blower thing…”. Of course, just remember to be loud within reason. It's the old but true cliché: actions always speak louder than words. According to my new hat, I’ve become a dunce in the night.” Within minutes you will receive a phone call from your neighbor and he’ll say, “Did you hear the bad news? When your neighbor looks confused, you can make them feel like the bad guy/girl, saying something like, “You really don’t have any bacon? Play football in the garden and keep wacking their fence, and keep throwing the ball over their fence so you have to keep asking for the ball back. I think you have to be the mayor though, but It'll force them to move out more than half the time. My neighbor trespasses on our property. The crow is so sad because your whole house crushed his wife and so he will never stop squawking with grief.” Your neighbor will think that if he ever wants to escape the sound of the crow screaming, he’ll need to switch houses and live in a different town. Can I record activity outside of my home with security cameras? If it … © 2020 Clickhole. This one is so simple that even a fucking cow could do it. And just like that, you’ve made your neighbor move away using nothing but a solitary crow. With no bad karma as from a curse. Understand that all these things could just get you really well aquainted with annoyed poilice men. Find something that you know your neighbor stepped on - a leaf, twig, or pebble will do, although if you can lift an entire footprint out of the ground, it's ideal - and put it in a bowl or cauldron. Park in their car space, and put the bins out to reserve your space. We have a No Trespassing sign posted. The Property Line Offender. A crow is delivering me piece by piece into your mailbox, and when the rest of my body arrives, I’m going to punch you in the ass.” Your neighbor will realize he has to get out of his house before the rest of the guy’s body parts arrive, or else he’s going to get punched in the ass. You can also try cooking with strong-smelling ingredients, like garlic and curry powder, if you very close to your neighbor. For a double whammy, you can even sing as you do loud yardwork or as you’re setting up your lawnmower in the early morning. Spell # 1 Moves away When the moon is in a Phase that is Waning, write on white parchment paper the entire name of the person you want to move, along with birth date. When your neighbor wakes the next day he will scream. If you are already in the situation of having nasty neighbors, here are nine fail-safe strategies: 1. I need to switch houses to a place in the mountains where other idiots live.” Your neighbor will move away and live in the mountains, and you will have made this happen using just one crow. Posting to Imgur, a man named Joe told of how his downstairs neighbours were being ‘dicks’. He won’t know that the crow is responsible, and he will think that the shoe is coming to kill him or have sex with him or something. Try talking to the man; let him know politely that you can hear him all the time, and ask if he could be more quiet. Windchimes are outlawed in some communities — look into the regulations in yours before hanging them up. wikiHow is a “wiki,” similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. Sometime in the next few days, you will get a phone call from your neighbor and he will say, “There’s a crow in front of my television. This article has been viewed 478,599 times. Here is a wee witchcraft spell to help you out. First, make the crow squawk and shriek all day and all night nonstop. Also, it is illegal to throw things directly at your neighbor's house, but you could bend the law and throw them on his lawn instead. Your neighbor will have no choice but to flee his house and move to a different town before the shoe gets all the way to his front door, because he will think that when the tennis shoe makes it inside his house, something horrible will happen. This is a perfect trick because your neighbor can’t argue that you’re being noisy just to be annoying because it’s part of a chore. I'm a Christian! A study by Co-op Insurance found that one in 10 Brits have taken this route. Put smelly bins near their house. Do all the steps combined several times a day. By the way, is your username a reference to SNSD? Once you’ve acquired your crow it’s time to get to work. Eventually your neighbor will come into your yard and ask you, “Why does your crow make such a squawk?” When your neighbor asks this, just tell him, “Oh, didn’t you hear? 10 ways to make your neighbours move. And just like that, your neighbor will move away. Pick Your BattlesBefore deciding to move forward with confronting or reporting your noisy neighbors, it’s important to determine whether the battle is worth fighting. While they are away, sneak over and drain their pool. This can be even more annoying if your neighbor knows you get the same paper, so she'd/he’d have less reason to suspect you. Common Examples: Party animals dancing and drinking 24/7, gossipers who … Illegal Activity. Let thy Holy Ghost be guarding us day and night spiritually from whatever they are doing in their own area. Please suggest a good way to handle this situation: Over more than 6 years my next door neighbor has accumulated a broken truck (> 6 yrs), two broken cars (one for 5 yrs and another for 5 months), a rusted boat trailer with speed boat (5 months), and now a storage trailer. While your neighbor slumbers, simply sneak into his bathroom under the cover of darkness. Last Updated: October 16, 2020 Neighbors driving you crazy? One morning your neighbor will look out of his window and see a tennis shoe in his yard. Can I shoot at my neighbor's barking dog? The crow’s wife is not a crow. Can I play ding dong ditch with my neighbor? Since this time of life is often about downsizing and moving, really … Great idea, but I think the OP wants the other person to move out, not for them to be kicked out. Into a jar of sugar, add cinnamon and clove (both magnifiers/multipliers) as well as the real estate listings from your local paper. Depends on your regional noise bylaws. Put TV on really loud. If your neighbor objects, you can just say something like, “He’s just being himself. wikiHow is a “wiki,” similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. According to my bathroom mirror, I’m a crow now, so I need to move to the Amazon rainforest to live with the other crows.” By the end of the day, your neighbor will be gone from his house, and it will all be because of one simple crow. Sorry, I’m deaf in one ear,” to make your neighbor feel bad for asking. If you want to deal with noisy neighbors but not sure how to go about it, follow these 5 tips. Most neighbor disputes are nuisances, but for actual crimes you can call the police. He goes on and on about how much money he’d like to contribute to you guys.”, The more annoyed your neighbor gets, the more innocent you should act. Your neighbor will look at the leg that just arrived in his mailbox and say, “Oh, shit! This one is so simple that even a … They somehow fail to notice their neighbors dairy farm, pig lot, or the fact that combines on a narrow rural road move Veeerryyy slowly. 13. How can I get justice? While your neighbor slumbers, the crow will hover in the air above him and place the dunce cap on his head before flying away into the night. Over the next several months your neighbor will have the horrifying experience of seeing the tennis shoe move an inch closer to his house every day. She is a different animal. I'm having an awful problem with my neighbours. 1. Then he will go about his day. If you’re caught red-handed, you can plead confusion and say you thought it was your paper. Start dumping your food scraps in their yard. I have her picture and have 3 peppy neighbors and want her to move out. Do you also want to be an annoying neighbor yourself? Of course, your apartment manager won’t be happy about these antics. She personally knows the police. If your neighbor asks you to turn it down, you can say, “What? You Want To Hear What Kinds Of Animals Have Climbed Into My Huge Bucket Of Yogurt And Died? ClickHole is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. If all else fails, sprinkle asafoetida, an East Indian herb, around their doorstep, car, shoes (if they keep them outside) and curse them all the way, telling them to “LEAVE” and “MOVE OUT”. People who have farmed here for generations are faced with large numbers of newcomers, usually from urban or suburban areas, who move here because of the quiet, slow-paced rural lifestyle. We almost never see him since he is working, volunteering, or out and about. I’ve got to move.” Within a week, your neighbor will be on his way to a new house that doesn’t have a crow hanging in front of the TV. 2. Dress/bless a candle in whatever way suits and burn it atop the jar. By using our site, you agree to our, {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/c\/cd\/Annoy-Your-Neighbor-Step-1.jpg\/v4-460px-Annoy-Your-Neighbor-Step-1.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/cd\/Annoy-Your-Neighbor-Step-1.jpg\/aid762453-v4-728px-Annoy-Your-Neighbor-Step-1.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":"728","bigHeight":"546","licensing":"